Friday, 19 February 2010

I would eat her cake.

Isn't she amazing?
She's not perfect, I know that
and more importantly she does too.
But she is admirable and easy to relate to.
Which is important as we need comfort
from important and professional
people sometimes, just to know we are
excepted in this world.
It's hard with other celebrities like
Angerlina Jolie, you don't know where
you stand. They basically don't give a flying
turd's nest, but Kristen Stewart does.
She cares for us, cares for her fans.

So why are people attacking her?
As if she was supposed to know the hollywood hype,
be like every hollywood doochbag.
Look, dress, act like every hollwood mongrel.
Kristen Stewart is unique,
not, i repeat again, perfect, just unique.
Compared to the rest, anyway.

So lately we have had a lot of Kristen news.
She's currently promoting "The Yellow Handkerchief"
and is ready to fly out to England to join
Rob at the BAFTA's.
Not only that, she's also confirmed she will be at
the OSCARS.
About fucking time I say.
She is a busy lady at the moment,
and still has the audacity to care about her fans.
So why are you STILL freakin' hating her?

Let me just prove you all wrong:

Apparently, she can't act?
Well dang flabbit where's everyone been?
Have you all just noticed that?
I mean she is shockingly shit at acting right?
I mean New Moon and Twilight, how bad were they?
Adventureland, don't even get me started.
Please tell me you can sense the sarcasm.
You've only got to see this film to know,
actually how amazing she is at her job.
Let me please prove you wrong.
I get really joyful when i do that.
So watch the damn film and just realise
the pure epicness that is Kristen.

And obviously the "bitch" doesn't smile.
She walks around thinking she knows
everything and everyone thinking she
owns the place, who does she think she is?
Kristen fucking Stewart that is who she is.
Exhibit A of her not smiling:
We don't know what it's like being around the media
It could be so intimidating, it is. It is so hard for them
To go around and act normal while
trying to please everyone with great movies.
When she's with Rob, she is full on Kristen.
She's so pure and happy.
That this picture just makes the hole
that you dig for yourself saying she
doesn't smile go deeper and deeper.
Yet again i'm proving you wrong.
She's a walking talking smiling lunatic!

Oh, and lastly what is she thinking
when she walks around LA in shit?
Where are her boobtubes?
The different shades of pink?
Her high high heels?
Her fake tits and fish lips?
And, shock horror, she hasn't been tangoed?
Get out of town and go get some fake tan!
Because she isn't a celebrity till she looks
like one right?
Till she looks like Pamela Anderson?
What was she thinking:
I don't know what she was thinking but
shes a bleedin' genius!
You don't see this kind of style that often
it's fresh, natural and just not hollywood.
It's her and if you can't be anyone but
yourself then the Earth is doomed.
Odd socks? Rocking it.
Grey skin tight jeans? I want.
Messy bed hair? I try to do.
Rings, rings, rings? I'm ebaying.
Plaid, normal, shirt? I actually have.
Just give the girl a break
why should she be like everyone else
it's the 21st Century i thought we were
past this ridiculousness of the fact
that people are different?

Look, i'm not even out to slate people
like Paris Hilton. I guess guys like
the mini mini skirt so they can see
her crack. Nice, she doesn't wear knickers.
She should learn something from my twitter.
But i'm fed up of people popping jokes at
people who look different. In my eyes
where all different. Kristen is a complete different
compared to Perez Hilton who is a twat.

It's not about what they wear
or what they do everyday
It's about what they do as a job
that we love about everyone.
But still i like to prove you lot wrong:
Sexy? Yes, I though so too.
I wish i could high five her for her peachy bum.
I'd even tap it. All night long.
*I'm not using sarcasm for that ^*

Sarcasm is my forte, by the way Stacey killed Archie. Bradley died.
Best episode, yet the saddest. Peace.

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