Saturday, 20 February 2010

You can't even Ebay it.

This is a new picture.
See her jacket that she's wearing?
Costs a bomb.
You wanna know why i know that?
I googled the make of the jacket
and my eyes popped out of my head.
i even ebayed it.
Nothing.
This happens with everything and
i know it happens with you too.

I get quite frekin' annoyed if i can't
find it, i mean i'm not out there to
copy Kristen. I actually really love her style.
It's so refreshing and it's my kind of thing.
Even though for prom i have to dress-dress up!
I mean would you dare do this?
Of course you would, this is how normal
people dress. Or how radically cool people dress.
Let me tell you something, i live in England
so it's cold everyday and where i live,
it's only small but it's not normally sunny
and i can safely say i am the only girl
that even remotely dresses like this.
I have since i was 13. Everyone thought
I was pathetic and ugly for dressing how
i did. That's not nice but ever since
Kristen has stepped on to the scene
not only have people said i have an
awesome fashion sense, they've
asked where i bought stuff from.
My answer?
Fuck you.

Kristen gets hate for dressing how she does.
As do i, and probably a whole
bunch of girls. But does that stop her?
Did it stop me?
No, because i felt normal as soon
as Kristen "arrived" i felt excepted.
All thanks to her.
So really, even though i can't find her stuff
on Ebay, i don't stop. I never give in and
i always succeed and be myself.
I will do too, right until i die.
In fact the other day i got a her
Joy Divison top. Love it!

Who else could go better with Kristen's
down to Earth style other then
Mr Robert Pattinson.
I remember this picture changing
not only their friendship in everyone's eyes
to love in seconds but also what i thought
where skinny jeans they are tiiiight.
I thought i wore tight, i mean look at them.
They are beautiful jeans and she's sat
with a beautiful man being her beautiful self.
How beautiful is this picture?
And how normal do you feel just sat
there looking at it? I feel pretty normal.
I feel in there league and that i could do
what they are doing, preferably with them both.

So now i have to go and Ebay some of
Kristen's skinny jeans, but not before
I leave you with a picture of what
is under them jeans. Enjoy guys.
*photo from @badassstewy*

My last post until i get my new Laptop.
If it's not here tomorrow
i will kill the postman.
Kristen at the BAFTA's tomorrow.
Don't forget.

Friday, 19 February 2010

I would eat her cake.

Isn't she amazing?
She's not perfect, I know that
and more importantly she does too.
But she is admirable and easy to relate to.
Which is important as we need comfort
from important and professional
people sometimes, just to know we are
excepted in this world.
It's hard with other celebrities like
Angerlina Jolie, you don't know where
you stand. They basically don't give a flying
turd's nest, but Kristen Stewart does.
She cares for us, cares for her fans.

So why are people attacking her?
As if she was supposed to know the hollywood hype,
be like every hollywood doochbag.
Look, dress, act like every hollwood mongrel.
Kristen Stewart is unique,
not, i repeat again, perfect, just unique.
Compared to the rest, anyway.

So lately we have had a lot of Kristen news.
She's currently promoting "The Yellow Handkerchief"
and is ready to fly out to England to join
Rob at the BAFTA's.
Not only that, she's also confirmed she will be at
the OSCARS.
About fucking time I say.
She is a busy lady at the moment,
and still has the audacity to care about her fans.
So why are you STILL freakin' hating her?

Let me just prove you all wrong:

Apparently, she can't act?
Well dang flabbit where's everyone been?
Have you all just noticed that?
I mean she is shockingly shit at acting right?
I mean New Moon and Twilight, how bad were they?
Adventureland, don't even get me started.
Please tell me you can sense the sarcasm.
You've only got to see this film to know,
actually how amazing she is at her job.
Let me please prove you wrong.
I get really joyful when i do that.
So watch the damn film and just realise
the pure epicness that is Kristen.

And obviously the "bitch" doesn't smile.
She walks around thinking she knows
everything and everyone thinking she
owns the place, who does she think she is?
Kristen fucking Stewart that is who she is.
Exhibit A of her not smiling:
We don't know what it's like being around the media
It could be so intimidating, it is. It is so hard for them
To go around and act normal while
trying to please everyone with great movies.
When she's with Rob, she is full on Kristen.
She's so pure and happy.
That this picture just makes the hole
that you dig for yourself saying she
doesn't smile go deeper and deeper.
Yet again i'm proving you wrong.
She's a walking talking smiling lunatic!

Oh, and lastly what is she thinking
when she walks around LA in shit?
Where are her boobtubes?
The different shades of pink?
Her high high heels?
Her fake tits and fish lips?
And, shock horror, she hasn't been tangoed?
Get out of town and go get some fake tan!
Because she isn't a celebrity till she looks
like one right?
Till she looks like Pamela Anderson?
What was she thinking:
I don't know what she was thinking but
shes a bleedin' genius!
You don't see this kind of style that often
it's fresh, natural and just not hollywood.
It's her and if you can't be anyone but
yourself then the Earth is doomed.
Odd socks? Rocking it.
Grey skin tight jeans? I want.
Messy bed hair? I try to do.
Rings, rings, rings? I'm ebaying.
Plaid, normal, shirt? I actually have.
Just give the girl a break
why should she be like everyone else
it's the 21st Century i thought we were
past this ridiculousness of the fact
that people are different?

Look, i'm not even out to slate people
like Paris Hilton. I guess guys like
the mini mini skirt so they can see
her crack. Nice, she doesn't wear knickers.
She should learn something from my twitter.
But i'm fed up of people popping jokes at
people who look different. In my eyes
where all different. Kristen is a complete different
compared to Perez Hilton who is a twat.

It's not about what they wear
or what they do everyday
It's about what they do as a job
that we love about everyone.
But still i like to prove you lot wrong:
Sexy? Yes, I though so too.
I wish i could high five her for her peachy bum.
I'd even tap it. All night long.
*I'm not using sarcasm for that ^*

Sarcasm is my forte, by the way Stacey killed Archie. Bradley died.
Best episode, yet the saddest. Peace.

Thursday, 18 February 2010

Are they doing it doggy style?

I got an Email today.
It, at the same time, made me laugh
and made me think how gullible
a lot of people are.
I hate people who walk around
thinking they know what's
happening between Robsten.

Let me enlighten you,
you actually know Jack all.
Nutting,
Zilch,
Nada.
Hey presto where does that leave you?
In the dark all alone, like everyone else
we might as well be hiding in a cave.
I thought i knew everything
but in fact i knew nothing
but guess what?
Where all in the same boat.

But why do we care?
I mean some people revolve there life's
around making the point that they are together.
Can we be to blame for the vulgar, savaging snakes
that are the media that involve and stalk
them both? As if were fly's on the wall.
It's imposing and sometime's creepy.

Do we need to now there every move?
Do we need to be involved as much as the media?
Do we need to analyse and compare pictures?
Do we? No. So why in the hell are we?
This is why:

Oops, sorry I meant this *sniggers* :

They are so fascinating and beautiful.
We feel the right that to know what they feel
what they think and what they do.
it's border line psycho from us
and border line driving them psycho.
We could damage anything they have worked for.
Anything they have built together
it could all crash and burn because of us.
How would you feel because of that?

Because I know for sure I would cry.
they are perfect for one another,
i mean look at them it's obvious that they are
but to know that I could ruin it in a blink
of an eye, it puts me off influencing the media.
Which we all do.

This email I received read along the lines of:
"Do you think Robsten are together?
Are they sleeping together?
Because i have a friend and her OK!
magazine said that they were not
is it true? I think it is, isn't it?"

How could you believe such gobblydigook.
This magazine is like the bible a bunch of lies.

First thing's first in answer to you email
Why do you care so fucking much?
It's like your asking me if your mum and dad
have a healthy marriage.
Your parents are people as are Rob and Kristen.
They may have stardom and be bleamin'
well interesting but come on there normal
average -lie- people.

Secondly, Robsten? No, people.
They are not one person. They are two.
They might well be together
but they are not one mind one person.
So lets get this straight, say it after me:
Rob-ERT Pattinson and KRI-sten Stewart.

Thirdly, Robert Pattinson may well be brooding
and mount-able and Kristen Stewart
might be the girl with the robust butt
that you want to tap but don't they deserve respect?
Our respect?

I'm not saying don't support them.
Don't look at the new exclusive pictures of them.
Or perv like i do when you see Rob's snail trail
*Oh, hello. Fans self*
You can love them still and adore them
as i will be doing that. I know i will
I can't resist it.
But i suppose the moral of my story is:
Give them space, don't believe everything you see
and for heaven sake stop being so GULLIBLE.
it's not our life to care so much about.

But most importantly, who the fudge killed Archie in EastEnders?

Wednesday, 17 February 2010

Talk to Kristen's hand purlease.

This my friends is Kristen Stewart.
Kristen fucking Stewart.
Not only is she smiling she's showing
you that she isn't wearing a bra.
Now that's fuck hot.

*Runs for a vomit bowl*

And this, well, it isn't even a thing.
It isn't even a man

Look at him.
I'd rather lick Justin Beiber's toes
and we all know he isn't far from my
'I'ma-pitch-fork-you-in-the-eye' list.
He could turn any girl bulimic.
Vile, horrible man.
Why am i mentioning him on my first ever post?
Why have i scared you all away?
Read on sisters.

Perez Hilton blogs.
Apparently he is a celebrity as well?
I had never heard of him until he
mentioned my girl and quite frankly he can...

Talk to this "bitch's" face!
I fucking dare you.
No? Well back right away.
All the way off a cliff.

Most twitter sites have expressed in the 150 words
you have to say something about him.
So this might even sound repetitive,
but I need to get it off my chest, pronto.
While watching and crying at Grey's Anatomy
I realised something.
What actually gives him the right to speak
about her as if she's punched his nan in the face?

Has she spat on him? No.
Has she kicked him in his fanny? No.
Has she done her Joan Jett flip out on him? No.
Or maybe she has the guy even this prat is lusting for? Probably.
*I do secretly wish she would do all I just listed*

I'm sorry but what kind of pathetic excuse
is there for a 50-year old...
wait. What? He is 31? My bad.
... to treat a 19 year old beauty the way he does?
None at all.
She's done nothing to him,
she probably doesn't even no who the fat fairy is.

It's even come to the point where
Kristen has now got a chainsaw.
I'm sorry, but attacking young girls who
are doing there job is not even funny.
She can act in front of the media
however the hell she wants
all they do is follow her
and all they do is harass her.
I'm pretty surprised we haven't
seen Kristen in public with this chainsaw yet.

His pathetic ass writes a blog containing shit.
Actually cow shit. It makes no sense what-so-ever.
Then he go's and uses paint what kiddies use
to write equally as shit quotations all across her face
On one article he even crossed Kristen out of the picture.

To call yourself a human who degrades a girl
for being better then you is pathetic.
Everything you say to Kristen is
what everyone wishes to say to you
you don't deserve the privilege to be known.
Your attacking a girl because your jealous
of her man and the amount she has
accomplished in the 19 years compared to
your horrendous life.

Believe you and me, every time you spit in her face
I will spit like a tsunami right back in yours.
We will come out fighting stronger.
You may use her as your claim to fame
but your just digging a hole that's
getting deeper and deeper
some time soon you might even end up in Australia
and hopefully they can deal with you.
Didn't you realise that when
you got the shit beaten out of you
that was on behalf of every person
you bully and bitch about.

Say one more thing I'll get my gang
to come beat your ass up, AGAIN.
I'm not even going to whittle on about how much i hate you.
You don't deserve the time of day.

But...
Every time this 31 year old man calls our gorgeous Kristen Stewart a cold hearted bitch the world turns to shit in my eyes.

Right, until next time. Peace.